I’ve been thinking about what to write in these newsletter editions quite a lot.
I’ve got so much I could write about on the topic of Resilience.
I don’t need ChatGPT to spit out ideas. (Not that there is anything wrong with that).
I had a discussion with a friend recently and he advised me to work some more of the “harder” things from my life into the content.
I have been writing this kind of stuff in my substack.
But, here we go.
Pity, Judgement and Contempt.
I remember standing in the cue at the budget supermarket with Mum, we had the bare necessities in the shopping cart and an envelope containing food stamps.
I’ll never forget the look on the cashier’s face when she was handed the stamps to pay for the groceries.
I now know the look to be pity, judgment, and contempt.
This look wouldn’t even come close to the look of pain and shame on my mother’s face handing over the stamps.
Just to rub salt into the wound, we had to leave certain groceries behind because we didn’t have enough stamps to pay for them.
I can’t even imagine what she was going through.
Single mother in the deep hell of drug addiction trying to keep her life together while raising two kids.
It’s very easy to become judge, jury and executioner in situations like this.
I had my fair share of pity, judgement and contempt towards her over the years growing up, but I learned it served no one.
How could it??
Resilience in all shapes and sizes
Stories of resilience don’t start and finish with the “hero’s” often highlighted.
There are stories of resilience everywhere, about everyday people.
People like my Mother, who just two or three decades ago would’ve been seen as just another “Junkie”.
Her story of resilience is nothing short of remarkable.
She clawed her way out of the depths of hell on earth, at times resembling a demon you see portrayed in movies.
Not many manage to do this.
Make their way back from the brink of death, on multiple occasions.
The drugs turned her into someone….. “some-thing” else. It wasn’t my Mum.
Sure, this made life for my brother and I traumatic and at times disturbing. This isn’t a unique situation at all.
We’re doing well and in a way I’m grateful.
I wouldn’t be who I am, where I am today without the harsh reality of life.
People often say “They made the choice”.
For many years I also thought that.
But, No one chooses hell willingly.
She was the victim of horrendous domestic violence, sexual violence and suffered significant trauma growing up. So If we’re looking for a reason, this is a logical place to start.
Like I said, it’s easy to be Judge, Jury and Executioner and move on.
It’s not so easy asking “What happened to you?”
Resilience – EVERYONE has their own story.